undated

I’m lost, I have no idea where I’m going. Life feels like a dream. The back of my head feels missing. I wanna cry but I don’t wanna make a “scene’”. What does this mean? Why am I here? Why aren’t I happy? When will I be happy. I have a headache. I don’t want to go to school but I do. I want to take a chance. I wanna run away. I want to live. I want to cry. I wanna dream. I want to sleep and never wake up. I want to know that someone loves me. Why am I here? Why do I exist? What good do I do? Why doesn’t anyone support me? What the fuck is wrong with Daddy? I wanna go to sleep. God, what’s wrong with me? I feel like throwing up. My hearts beating fast. I feel weak. I’m ugly. Why aren’t I pretty? Why doesn’t anyone say I’m pretty? Why do I dress like a slob? I feel like weird. I wanna sleep and dream and never stop.

4-7-11

Dear Magenta,

Yesterday, Cameron and Leilah and me went to the Spectrum. While we were at Pinkberry, a guy came up to us and said we looked beautiful today. Two days ago in this journal, I wrote that I wanted someone to compliment me and so I could feel beautiful. Ty God, if you did this on purpose, but I don’t know if that was directed to me. I don’t feel like writing so bye.

❤ Me ❤